Psychotic depression is hard as far as death thoughts. Your counselors will freak out 99% of the time until they get used to your "patterns" (that's how I refer to them of suicidality.

Generally, for me ..there is a "hmm, yea - death would be nice" (stage 1); "I wish I could die, why can't I die?" (stage 2); "I am tired of life - I am going to figure a way out of this.. preferably with minimal pain to others" - plans begin (stage 3) "I don't care about anyone anymore, they don't care about me, so why should I them?" - plans without care of who gets hurt begin (stage 4); choose the plan that seems most likely to succeed n attempt or just get tired n randomly attempt (stage 5)

I always communicated well with my counselors so they could understand the subtle changes n recognize them as well as I did so I did not end up spending 90% of my session time defending my emotion n just trying to be heard.

I too have psychotic depression so I know the frustration on this.

For me, medications only helped "a little" ... relaxation techniques n essential oils were eventually what got me through.