I am struggling right now. I am trying very hard to put on a brave face and hope that all will be well but its not. I am hearing voices again. Sometimes I can tell what they are saying and they aren't Casper the friendly ghost whispering sweet nothings in my ear. Sometimes I can't I can tell they are talking but I can't tell what they are saying its kind of like being in a resturant 24/7 with a bunch of people. My attention span is nil so reading is out. I tried watching Fellowship of the Ring yesterday but about 5 minutes into it I was like when is it going to be over and turned it off. I went to Blockbuster then and rented a movie that in retrospect I shouldn't have being the state of my mind...I rented Helter Skelter. I also bought Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Again I could barely watch it because my mind was flying and I was having a hard time concentrating on just one thing. Last night it took 4 tylenol pm's to put me to sleep and then I didn't want to get up this morning. I don't want to be around people but if I talk to them on the phone its ok because I don't have to actually see them. I went to walmart today to get some groceries so that I could cook dinner for the 'rents tonight and that about killed me. So many people and I thought they were all looking at me. I am scared and don't know what to do. I don't want to do what the voices are telling me to do but on the other hand it might be a good thing.

Janniebug