You have to state that word because they bring it up even if you try to tip for around it.

The point is - it is their job to listen to you and help you to resolve your problems; not to decide they know your problems better than you and try to resolve your problems based upon that

Like I wrote in my "Craving Death" post it is similar to someone saying "help me! the sky just turned red!" Another person says "no, the sky is blue. you just think it's red." First person says "no, it's red! and points to the setting sun... Second person says "Ahh, but look! It's really blue! and indicates the area around it. The original person was afraid of the setting sun. For whatever reason, we never find out - because the second person was too busy convincing the first person how "wrong" he or she is...

First rule of helping anyone: LISTEN