hi im nikki i got DID n im feelin real small today so yah.

so okie dokie it sound to me like you got some sad goin on. I do that to and i do it when im sad mostly so maybe thats how come im thinkin it but for me back when i was a real for real kid id do that ALL THE TIME. id remember bein outside n havin to do all this work n my imagination would show up n help me tell me stories n pretend so it wasnt so bad cuz i needed that to help me get thru them tough times n it sure help back then. I sometimes get stuck in my imagination now to even tho i know it aint then no more n i dont need it but i think its cuz i been doin that so long its what i just know to do. Its not only me in my system who be doin that daydream life stuff to cuz well sometimes life is hard n it hurts n its not so good n pretendin n daydreamin is lots better then real life even is so its nice there in my real n actual real. It still happpen to me lots but im tryin to live life n not just the one in my head. Its hard tho. What i try to do is do life. I think well nikki you been daydreamin about bein a rock star so maybe what you oughta do today is put on some music n rock out so i do that n i laugh n laugh n i know it sound stupid but it makes me feel better. n sometimes to when i aint feelin so small i get to thinkin bout what im daydreamin n maybe how come im dreamin bout that. So if im dreamin bout bein a rock star, how come im doin that? For me its cuz i wanna be heard n seen not feel invisible. i know that bout myself so when im feelin bigger what i do is draw a picture of how come i been feelin invisible n it go on a public draw site so i get seen n heard. oh boy im talkin lots again. sorry. but amandalouise is sure right bout maybe talkin to someone would be good to do. i can tell you stuff but what do i know? i can only say whats up with me and not whats up with you and you the one who is important with this stuff n i sure hope you can get stuff figured out so you can get to feelin better.

nikki