Not in one now, but by Christ I have had a few.
I have been that abused and the abuser. And it took me a long time to recognise my own part in these fkt up head games.
For the most part I just thought,why would you do this to me.

I tried therapy, but it made things worse. Put me in the mindset of a victim. Something I am definitely not.

I had to break the cycle of these poisonous relationships, and the only way I could do that was by owning my part in it.
There were many times I got out and should have stayed out. I didn't stay because I was scared but because I had to be right.
I had to to prove he was wrong , his behaviour was wrong and I would force him to see it and change.
I was provocative, confrontational or equally passive aggressive.

It was a battle of wills, and I didn't want to lose.

I had ALOT of growing up to do before I realised actually it isn't worth it.
But I had learnt this from my parents. The relationship is a war zone and only the manipulative and cunning win.

It took a long time to realise it wasn't a competition.
And that every time I stayed after a fight, it was confirming his belief that he was right.

Ahh, the joys of being in love and stubborn. Lol.