When it comes to PTSD and how trauma affects a person on such a deep level, it can have the affect of where the person simply doesn't want to feel that "pain" anymore, the loss they struggle with that affects their sense of self on such a deep level that it brings such a weariness that is so hard to articulate. It's really not so much not wanting to exist anymore, its not wanting to exist with the emotional challenge the person is struggling with and how a trauma has affected how the individual struggles to regain their sense of self back where they can feel safe to live their life in a meaningful way that is very personal to that individual.