yes t, it is fun sometimes, coming there, like the time we laughed so hard over my fairy tale. and when we have those really super-deep sessions. and it's been tough too. thank you for acknowleding tonight that i've been brave at times too. and even though it in a way felt like another wily tactic to make sure i come back after my break, i appreciate that you said i work a lot deeper than most people. that i've been so dedicated to the process or however you said it. yes, i have been. and i've grown so incredibly much from it. but t this can't go on forever. it can't. my life is much more interesting now than coming there, and i want to live it t, and not dissect it. yes i've worked deeply and it's been oh, so worth it. but i've come back up to the surface now. that canoe i put in the sand tray tonight with the oars propped up in the sand as though they were paddling through water? did you get what i said about that? did you? let's both call me a success and say good night, gracie. can we do that? can you? i am trying not to feel like you're dangling the pictures of my sand trays like a carrot in front of a horse. you know i want them. i did my work t, i know what you've been to me and I got through it, now it's time for you to figure out what i am to you. can you do that, t? can you? seriously. yes it's been fun and interesting and amazing and tough and miserable and every other emotion. and i am incredibly grateful for everything. for how it has all worked together to get me to where i am. i said a lot of this tonight but not all of it. i should have said all of it. oh sigh. but yeah... you need to let me go now. can you do that t? can you help me to leave you? can you?

How do I leave you?!