It sounds like you are really having a hard time at the moment . I felt so bad last week I mean it was so bad I just really didn't want to be alive and I couldn't get any help from professionals despite trying everyone . I really thought i would feel like that forever , but it passed . it will pass for you too. Is there anything in your life you are not happy with and want to change ?

And by the way it does matter ! It would matter to me if you wasn't here and I'm sure it would matter to others on here too .