I kinda went studying in a little rush, believing I'll make it since I love what I'm studying. But it turns out I also need mental strength I unfortunately don't have right now.

I went to a psych doc this week and he told me lifting my depression and going to psychotherapy treatment can lift me up. He also said this first year will probably go a little sloppy. Although he's telling me not to give up, I am NOT taking psych meds when I can leave university with a loss of just 1000$ from what I paid in the first place.
He also told me I have ADD/ADHD (although it is more likely ADD), but told me to take care of my mild depression first.

I told him I do not want to harm my physical health, to which he replied with understanding yet told me there's longevity, and quality of life. While a rational explanation, I am still not taking the meds.
I prefer to drop out, work and go to therapy to somehow sort myself out, than go through it with meds just because I'm already in university.

The current situation is, it's very hard for me to learn alone. My mind is mentally distracted with anger, need for love and... writing need for love kind of paused me.