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However, *tw* I used to self harm. That stopped hurting after a while so I thought taking away food would be better. I stopped eating and began fasting or eating only a little. I lost weight in a month. I started becoming obsessed with my weight & food. It lasted about a month. A few months later, the same thing happened. And again a little bit later.
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If you really want to get better, you're ED is secondary to whatever caused you to self harm in the first place. So often ED treatment ignores the foundational cause that happened in the first place & just looks at the weight loss issues & the wanting to stop eating without getting to the REAL cause that started it in the first place.
I went through 6 weeks at an ED treatment center. Not once did they even try to touch on the why. The last time I realized that it was triggered by a trauma but all my GP & PDOC were pushing me to contact an ED treatnpment place. I called several & told them my anorexia I had been medically hospitalized for almost 2 months was triggered by a trauma & if they could help.....they said NO, we only work on issues where it is caused by body image issues. Duh, body image issues come up after the ED & the loss of weight almost becomes addictive.....but if I didn't resolve the REAL problem it would never be more than just putting a bandaid over a sore that was never going to heal on its own.
Work on the issue with your T that caused you to self-harm in the first place that evolved into this if you ever want to get better. Need someone to hold you accountable for eating on the side during this effort because it is critical but that will NOT be a long term solution