Dear Current T —

Sometimes it feels lonelier in session than outside of it.

And, that’s saying something.

I know you mean well, with your questions on whether I’ve been invited anywhere for the holidays (apropos nothing I may add) and your response — just a trifle too quick to let me know exactly how unconvincing you found what I said — when I told you I’d really rather be alone.

It reminds me of the very first session when you probed — a lot more than any other therapist I’d interviewed — on how many friends I have and how close I am to them.

The middle school mundanity of that question (and of course you’ll see this as yet another defense) almost made me not come back.

And, it seems a year later that you haven’t really learnt anything about me if we are having the same conversation?

Or that you thought I’d be cut up about your going to the Bahamas rather than I dunno, Maine? Do you really know so little about me that you think I’d be cut up about a) the place you’re going vs the simple fact of your going or b) that I wouldn’t find the idea of a Caribbean vacation just gawdawfully mind-numbingly boring (although I’ll never ever tell you that)?

You know the absolute worst part of all this? I know you actually mean well and this is you trying hard to help me.

- AY