Ugh, I'm sorry....I have no idea on any of these answers. What are the chances he'd be there? I just really hope the judge is not an obstructionist jerk. And I can't see ANY reason why you'd need to say your address out loud? ESPECIALLY if future ex-H is there.


On that note, I feel so so effed up. I don't know how to relate to other human's anymore, unless they are a toddler or my co-worker. I am trying to go back to a sport that I quit in January bc of hurt feelings, but it is SO HARD.

My T has said that if one goes denying their needs for years and years and years, when one exposes itself (as friendship in my case), they feel really huge and unmanagable. That is how I feel.

I don't know how to reconcile the massive anxiety I feel with going back and dealing with other adults on a "peer to peer" relationship, when I feel so effing insignficant and like it matters to absolutely no one that I am back, or if I drop off the face of the earth again. (I had done this sport for about 1.5 years before I quit)

There is one person who has shown me kindness since I came back. I have already lost two friendships to people I thought cared about me before I quit. I was wrong, bc they either didn't actually care about me, or my effing depressing self finally caught up to them, of which I don't blame.

The thing is...I don't know how to relate normally anymore. I either feel like a complete invisible alien amongst these group of women, or I want to spill all my stupid, dark thoughts to this one person who is showing me kindness. The thing is, I did that ALREADY with my two former friends...who eventually dropped me because I am sad as eff., I know this. Except I only know two ways of being: complete isolation or finding someone who apparently cares a SMIDGE about me....and then I turn them away from me because I am a GD leper.

Anybody else feel this way? I can't really talk to my T about this, bc it feels so shameful. Being so needy.