I happened upon this only bc I noticed your name n it reminded me of an old Spades buddy I once had - so I went to your profile. Since this was the only thread you created I thought I would check it out.

It saddens me nobody ever commented back after you took so much time n effort to create this. I apologize for their lack of compassion even though I was not here back then.

As to your post... you went through a lot as a child. I am sorry you had to go through all that. I am no professional - but my best guesses based upon this information are:

ADD
Social Anxiety
PTSD

That is just a guess though. I do hope you decided to get evaluated and that you're doing better now.

❤