This evening's session was challenging. I am in the midst of another medication change because the effexor raised my blood pressure. On top of that I have just found out that there are several nodules on my thyroid. I will not begin a new anti d until the thyroid stuff is figured out. I worry about my health because I am so frightened that I will not be able to care for my son. I came to therapy tonight needing comfort and understanding.

So, what does the Big Head do? I tell him about my health issues and he tells me about a book he got for Christmas and starts giving me a sermon about eating healthy, losing weight, good nutrition, and taking care of our bodies, etc. He asked if I believe there was a mind-body connection and I shot a rubber band across the room and called him Mr. Psychological Health.

As the session ended, I was in tears because I felt he had hogged my time and T said we have to stop repeating this pattern. I agree. I did not leave until we agreed to a time to continue the conversation. We spoke on the phone later and I was able to tell him the things about my son that were weighing heavy on my heart that he didn't give me time for in-session because he was too busy preaching.

Then I told him I did recognize our rupture pattern. When we have these ruptures I come away feeling like I tried to tell him something but he didn't hear me.
Yeah, these lifelong patterns are devastating........