sming - Never heard of Acceptance Commitment Therapy, I'll check it out and ask my therapist about it. I'm curious as to why you say "it's a formalized version of your philosophy" though. Most acceptance-based therapy I have a hard time buying into, because I don't see what benefit I get out of acceptance. Seems like it would just lead to people pushing me around more.

In addition to being a way to avoid anxiety, I think the self-destructive things I do are an (admittedly childish) way of acting out against society and its expectations. It's kind of like "I may be doing self-destructive things and feeling miserable all the time, but at least I'm not blindly following the herd into the little box I'm supposed to want to fit into." Of course, if I had any self-confidence or wasn't so afraid of interactions with new people, I might be able to figure out what I actually do want and take steps to pursue it. But since that isn't the case, I end up pouting like a teenager.