I've come to the very regrettable conclusion that cannabis is dangerous for me. I have used it for the last decade [since my mid 40s] for chronic pain (which is now much better since I don't sit at a desk all day anymore), for nausea (during and after chemotherapy) but mostly for energy and mood. I'd get a lift and feel alive and can think clearly in a way that seems impossible without it. I get a mental clarity when i have a buzz that I truly miss. It also on the short term reduces anxiety but I think on the long term increases it.

I say regrettable because there is no denying the fact that I have enjoyed smoking weed but all of my psychoses and manic episodes were when I was consuming cannabis. I tended to go for the high THC to get energy while CBD just added to my fatigue so I avoided those strains so that may have something to do with it. In any case CBD doesn't help me feel better so I'm only talking about THC effects not CBD.

I also lose insight when I'm psychotic and dont' believe I'm ill. Lately my episodes lean more to psychosis and less to outright symptoms of mania like pressured speech, lack of sleep etc. just manifest delusions, paranoid beliefs and ideas of reference.

And I don't need antipsychotics necessarily to come back to sanity I just stop the weed and the delusions slowly become less and less believable and recede into the background.

It's been about a week since I quit cannabis for good. It has to be for good. It is just not worth the destruction it has wrecked on my life including 5 hospitalizations and other problems...

The first few days were tough but it is nothing like quitting smoking cigarettes, which I did (finally) in 2015...

There's a very wide spectrum in bipolar disorders. I'm not saying what happens to me on marijuana is what will happen to other people with the disorder.

I have a number of medical conditions and have had bad side effects from medications and have few medications that work which I take only in small doses and only as needed because they all exacerbate ongoing medical problems. I really do think not enough attention is paid to the long term downside of psychiatric meds and one should really just stick with the lowest doses possible.

I had depression already in my teens but not a manic episode until I was put on a dose of an antidepressant for the first time in my life at the same time I was smoking weed. Since then I had other breakdowns without an antidepressant just with weed.

Again i'm not saying this is the normal situation for people with bipolar, just saying
be careful...