Yeah..
I have a lot of trouble with thinking period..,

Its like im having flashbacks alot... but sometimes they are like altered, or not even real...
Just made up dreams that i fall into in the mind...

Stories are alive in my mind... its out of control...

I am feeling a little better right now, for this moment, i got my blood pressure med and gabapentin today...
Hoping tomorrow it will help more... i just dont want to end up taking handfulls of gabapentin trying to keep it down...

Im just really confused, which is nothing new i guess...
But i just feel more confused.... because my head feels like its swirling with these personas and i cant pull one out... i wanna get rid of all of them and just be me... atleast then i would be one consistent person instead of this weird dude... emo... emotionless... gangster...crybaby... ****up... perfectionist... suicidal depressed optimist... or whatever... constantly shifting and hiding from the world

I just feel so empty and null.. scared to face any more of this because of judgements and not having support from anyone... i need understanding so bad... i need to be understood and supported...
I just want to make it all go away ��