I wish that I could be there right now and give you a super big hug. It will get better. I had a friend who had told me that his dad told him about this story about a father who didn't have much live very poor but he always made sure that his son had food in his stomach clean clothes, and a roof over his head. Even though the house look pretty crappy and he had no utility only the log of fire to cook, heat and clean his clothes with while everyone who had no power who live better off in then he did he had more than those who were well financially off because while they were freezing and hungry in the cold winter storm? He and son were warm, and had food in their stomach. Even though you may feel like your life is pointless or hopeless there is always someone else that had less than you are in far worse than you or may have more than you who are trapped in a situation they can't or won't get out of.