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Originally Posted by splitimage
I haven't worked full time since 2010 - been too sick with depression and alcoholism. I started working part time in January of this year at a no skill telemarketing and then fundraising job, which I lost because I missed too much work due to depression.
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It sounds like depression is stil an extremely big problem for you & remember that you're still early in sobriety. I've always felt sorry for telemarketers. That must be such a depressing job, with people consistently giving you a hard time...this must have contributed greatly to the underlying depression. I, too, missed a lot of work due to deep depressions, so I can really sympathize with your emotional situation ( I have bipolar disorder...with depression being my biggest issue these days).
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Both my addictions Dr., and my psychiatrist are adamant that I'm not well enough to work yet. My pdoc wants me to try a 6 week course of transcranial magnetic stimulation, and has also talked about readmitting me to the hospital.
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IMO, your doctors'/therapists' opinions should be taken seriously. Yes...It's sometimes difficult to differentiate between situational & physiological-centered depression. It's probably a bit of both. Also, with you living in Canada, SAD might be an issue for you...I know it is for me. Might it be possible for you to put off looking for a job until spring, when there will be more light & you'll have more sobriety under your belt? Your emotional health & sobriety should be your biggest priorities right now. I don't know what your brother's financial situation is, but if he can afford to give you a little assistance, I'd be tempted to accept it until your situation is more stable.
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I've applied to join a clubhouse for the mentally ill called Progress Place which basically does vocational rehab during the day, and then social activities evenings and weekends. Once I join there, I'll have more stuff to do and won't be as bored.
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Have you ever checked this place out? Are some of the attendees fairly high functioning? I'm not sure how it would make you feel if a majority of the folks there really struggled mentally or cognitively. Things might be different in Canada, but I've seen a few of the clubhouses in my area in which most of the folks are fairly low functioning - again, that's just at the clubhouse here in my town, though. Unless there are some higher functioning MI people, being there might make you feel worse rather than better. I'm just saying...Check the place out first.
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Part of me thinks working would boost my self esteem, which would help with the depression, and I should at least try it if I have the opportunity, sort of a nothing to loose situation.
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Are you sure it will raise your self-esteem? Weigh the pros & cons carefully. You might be right, or you might just be feeling guilty about accepting support from your brother until you get on your feet again. You know your situation best...
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If I can't handle it, I'll just wind up unemployed again and be no worse off than I am now.
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Actually, if you don't have some solid hunches, things could very well be worse (what a dark cloud I am, huh?). All I'm suggesting that untreated depression & untreated alcoholism can both kill us dead. We have to take great care to stay sane & sober.
I'm sorry to cast doubts on your plans...That isn't my intention. I guess I'm just putting myself in your situation. I know you dislike AA, but one thing they suggest is not making any huge changes for the first year of sobriety. In addition, if your pdoc thinks your depression might be treatable, I'd focus on that first. Again, you know yourself better than I do...Good luck!