I had a full-blown manic episode 20 years ago, triggered by diet pill combo Phen-Fen. A psychologist friend told me that didn’t count since it was drug-induced. So I blew off the psychiatrist that said it was bipolar mania.

I went unmedicated for 18 years, went to a psychiatrist for help with anxiety, told him I was suspicious of being bipolar after reading about hypomania. He diagnosed me as bipolar type 2. And gave me prescription for propanolol, which caused insomnia...and that triggered another full blown manic event.

18 years apart—2 episodes of full-blown mania, drug-induced.

So, my current psychiatrist sternly said those drugs don’t trigger mania unless you’re bipolar, and she calls it type 1. She says I’ll get worse if I have more episodes, and I need medication.

Whatever. Really most of the time I fit type 2, depression peppered with hypomania triggered by excitement, like getting a new job.

My weight has fluctuated tremendously, I lost 120 pounds at one point doing very extreme things. I’m in the middle now, down 60 pounds from my high weight. I’m sick of feeling bad about my weight and doing things to lose weight.

That’s how I feel this week...

Anyway, I don’t care if I’m 1 or 2. I just need relief, and it feels like this new course of lithium and gabapentin are helping