I have been referred by my GP to a psychiatrist. This was mainly as my moods have been up and down really badly, despite being on antidepressants (many kinds) and counselling. The doctor referred me there as they have basically run out of options meds wise.

I am seeing this referral as a positive thing as I feel like the underlying cause to my frequent and erratic mood swings could just be resolved (through some kind of mood stabilising meds). I am also quite worried that I will be told I'm fine and that there's nothing wrong with me (and I'll just leave with no resolution to my problem)

So essentially, I need some advice about what to say, how to answer their questions and what documents (if possible) to 'arm' myself with. I'm especially asking UK residents but other advice I'll take on board too.

This year in particular, my moods have been really up and down and unpredictable and most of all it's affected my long term relationship with my girlfriend. In hindsight, I've been low to high, back and forth all my life, it's just that I just didn't really bother to realise it was problematic. It's really scary to not know when and where a change in temperament might occur and I feel like watching a car crash in slow motion. My relationship is at stake and I'm terrified of losing the person I love.

I've always noticed the depressive stages (I've been on antidepressants for many years) but recently I've started to notice the 'good' bits that sporadically intercut the less good phases. I'm suddenly happy for no apparent reason and then back down again.

Other things of note this disastrous 2017 are looking back longingly at previous relationships, wanting to escape (often driving aimlessly in my car just to isolate myself) and grandiose feelings (fantasising about being a big shot celebrity or something equally ludicrous).

Most scary of all though are these "out of body" sensations (only had these since April 2017). It's a little hard to explain but they often follow one of my mid-life crisis feelings and I feel a great sense of dread. It's like a horrible realisation that my days are limited as well as huge confusions about the essence of my existence. Maybe these questions relate to regrets about not doing / achieving enough in my life, almost like I've wasted my time.

It feels really good to get this off my chest without having to pay £50 an hour for a counsellor.