There are a lot of things you said that resonate with me, and I'm not sure where to start. I do think therapy isn't an either/or thing. So opening up and feeling your feelings again might mean that you're more likely to find other group activities or social events more rewarding. That said, I think you're probably aware that feeling feelings is sort of a double-edged sword in that you are (or will be) feeling positive and negative things more intensely. That's where I am right now. Sometimes I feel like a hermit crab with no shell: unencumbered but dangerously vulnerable.

I can totally understand you wanting your T to react in a more human or friend-like way. But then I think that would blur things really quickly. How would he know when to check up and when not to? What if you felt like he was checking in for is own peace of mind, not yours? Maybe you want to stew and not worry about his feelings. Part of therapy being about you is for your T to be very consistent in his responses and for you to never feel burdened by his "stuff." Also it isn't totally realistic for him to know when you leave and feel upset but generally okay and when you leave upset and wanting a check-in text.

What would have happened if you had initiated contact? Would he have responded? My T has never initiated contact with me (aside from scheduling issues), but she is virtually always responsive when I contact her. Maybe your T wouldn't have wanted to assume that you felt a certain way about seeing him at the festival. I know that a decent number of people would have just wanted to pretend that it had never happened. I can see where your T acting in a social way could make things infinitely more complicated, so maybe it is for the best that he maintains certain therapeutic boundaries. It doesn't mean you have to like it, of course, but I think the boundaries/limits keep things from making therapy into something that it isn't.

That said, it would really bug me if my therapist wouldn't talk about all this stuff: the boundaries around texting, touch, who he is, who he isn't, etc. I know from experience that these can be horrendously painful conversations, but your T absolutely should be willing to go there with you.