I’m very very sorry that this is happening to you I hope and pray that you have a good outcome from all of this. I second what hearty said you have every right to feel afraid. Other people don’t understand what your going through so that’s why they say to you “just be positive”. Are there groups you can join to talk to other people that are in the same boat as you? Maybe you can just listen to them before you tell your story and what’s bothering you. I wish you the best.