I am one of those other GI-cancer patients a little more than twice your age, and I would gladly bear your troubles for you if that were possible. I have had only one person presume to assume how I should or should not think or feel or whatever, and I have made it quite clear to him that I will not tolerate any bit of that...and it is disheartening to me that so very few people are both willing and able to talk about any of this even at all.

It disgusts me when terminal patients are encouraged to "keep hoping" for whatever rather than being helped to deal with actual reality, but the fact that my cancer is incurable does not necessarily make me terminal in any immediate sense...and there is where I can find some gratitude for and a bit of endurance "hope" from the services and efforts of compassionate doctors and staff willing and able to stand with me and face all of this squarely.

Also, please take a look here where I have found an e-mail support group for patients with my own specific cancer: Association of Cancer Online Resources