I am also a cancer patient, not young like you but also diagnosed way before my time. It is a terrifying nightmare to confront your own mortality when it is so unexpected and especially I would imagine when you have your whole life ahead.

I am so sorry. What you are feeling is normal and natural. And you are so right that no one has any basis to tell you how you should feel. You have every right to feel angry.

I also had surgery and a chemo regimen that was tough... 16 weeks straight without a break. It was exhausting but I got through it. I didn't lose my hair but did lose some hearing and develop neuropathy and some lasting fatigue and brain fog. But I am still alive.

Each time I go in for a scan and here (in Canada) typically have to wait weeks to get the result it does reactivate all the anxiety again. But in time even though I'm a depressed, anxious person with a serious mental disorder with little social support I did find a way to put it out of my mind, even though I was obsessed with cancer and my illness for along time.

I resonate with what leejosepho wrote. Cancer is horrible especially for young people like yourself. I've never resonated with the 'focus on the positive' but have found some peace and acceptance in time.