Quote:
Originally Posted by ruh roh
Something like that has never stopped me from saying things.
I'm not sure how I would feel about a therapist who had all the trappings of a so called good life. I would focus too much on the "trap" part of having it all.
I have a good friend who, on the face of it, has it all--rare success in a creative field where only 1% earn a living at it, husband since high school, kids, grands, two homes, travel, huge awards...it goes on. I am fascinated by how squeaky clean she is, how her strongest foul word is darn. And yet, she has also had a lot of struggles with her health and family, so I don't actually think she has a perfect life but I am drawn to the perfectness of it. It gives me a strange comfort in a way. I couldn't have someone like that as a therapist, but for me there is comfort in that kind of life when viewed from the outside.
|
Yeah, that totally makes sense. And, I couldn't agree more about the comfort thing -- it makes me feel that somehow all is right with the world (even if my life feels unmanageable) to watch it from the outside and know that there are people like that around.
I am actually not sure though if current T has a perfect life instead of just believing that others think that she does -- my Google stalking told me that her sister's a therapist as well. I am a big fan of Alice Miller (and apparently so is she, going by her telling me that she's read her multiple times) and if I were to go by that, there's clearly some stuff (resolved or not) there that would have lead to two children choosing to become therapists.
Also, I guess, maybe this is my defense or me living in my own head or having way too much crap of my own or some version of all of it but I find it almost impossible to see her as a peer or even anyone to sort of compare my life against?
For one, my life seems incredibly different from hers -- it's like we wouldn't even have considered being acquaintances if we'd run into each other outside of therapy.
But, I will say -- as she seems to be rather fully aware -- that the most obvious + intense feelings I have about her are some sort of a desperate-need-for-a-maternal-figure-ish type thing (which I have with pretty much with most women older to me and some men too).
So, it's kinda like I can't even imagine her life in any way except so completely removed from mine and only relevant insofar as she is available (or not) to me emotionally (and otherwise)?