I know from past experience the laws on it. Unless there is proof that harm is being done, no charges can be filed and the police cannot do anything. Neither audio nor video recordings are acceptable as evidence because they can easily be thrown out in court. A therapists word is only partially acceptable because they are limited on what they are legally allowed to say. Anything friends or neighbors "hear" can easily be disputed as either hearsay or simply unsubstantiated. So it is very difficult to get charges on minimal emotional abuse - even removal (via shelter) for minimal abuse is hard which is why abusers often get away with it as long as they keep it minimal.

I truly do think he is trying though and I am not making excuses for him. What he is doing is wrong. He knows it and so do I. He has been doing very well for 3yrs though which is what makes me think perhaps it really could be the stress causing him to have flashbacks into everything again ... his childhood, his old ways if coping, my old behaviors, etc. Both of us need counseling and neither have it. He has been opening communication with me the past two days so maybe it really will get better. We'll see.