Well geez, not wanting to live in the same state as them seems pretty dramatic to me. I would think just not being in the same house would be enough. I mean, he doesn't have to see them if he doesn't want to.

Here's the way I see it: if he loves you, he will respect that you want to be close to your family. You would also respect that it's hard for him to be around them because of how they've treated him, and you would allow him TIME to trust them again.

I think the only one who can answer whether or not he would be willing to live in the same state as them is him. You have to ask him that question and let him know how important it is to you. I'm not saying he's a bad guy. He could, in fact, be the best guy on the planet, but for some reason your family doesn't like him. And maybe your family is controlling and has poor boundaries, but it's still your family, and you still love them, and he needs to respect that.

I don't think there's a quick fix for this...things got off to a bad start. But it doesn't mean that with time and healing that they can't have a civil relationship where they can bear each other's company for an hour or two on holidays.

I hope they all come around to see the light for your sake.

Seesaw