To answer your question - check my recent responses to Rose. I consider her situation similar to my own.

I understand that the person in the situation knows both themselves and the situation best. To tell an abused person to go against their own morals is to further abuse them. The only thing they have left is their sense of morals - and some of those have already been damaged, so if you trample on more you further the belief of "no, you do not control your life - others know what is better for you - you are only to follow what others say"

Now - I say that knowing you also must balance what they say on a scale of sorts to determine if it is their own moral values - or the effects of the abuse keeping them where they are.

Sometimes that can be tricky to determine - but it can generally be discerned in how they speak of their own beliefs vs their abusers beliefs. Are there differences? What are they? Is the victim willing to admit he or she is being abused? Is the victim identifying anything he or she is actively doing or is it she just being idle and scared? This is how you can tell the difference.

I have outlined differences between he and I.
I have freely admitted both of us know he is abusing me (I even pointed it out to him).
I have been having open conversations with him attempting to resolve this.

Me returning to him originally was not by choice ... it was something that was forced upon us both. We made a bad situation work then (just 2mo after I moved out from a very bad abusive situation with him), I believe we can do it now.