His demand for living in another state because of your family is nothing but CONTROLLING.

I

Your being unhappy for someone who in not committing to you for anything more than a BF seems unreasonable to me. He could be a great guy but there is something seriously wrong with the way you are being controlled by him.

Nothing you are asking for is unreasonable....your BF On the other hand is totally unreasonable. Unless that state is the only place he can get a job but making the choice JUST BECAUSE he doesn't like your family.....not a good foundation for a real loving & caring relationship to grow from.

Maybe you two aren't as compatible as you are WISHING you were.....maybe his controlling you is tearing your relationship apart instead of building it up. When a relationship is all one sided that means there is controlling going on. Maybe the past problems you had with him had to do with controlling in other areas of life?

You are an adult now & you can set your boundaries & be strong with them in dealing with your family & your BF. Sounds like you may be so used to being controlled that it feels normal to you.

You say your parents were controlling about your career. In what way were they controlling? Were they paying for your education that led to your career choice? I wished I had educated & intelligent parents I could have trusted with career making guidance. I changed from a music major I got my AA in to an Accounting & Computer Science major/ minor as a junior. Took me 3 extra years to graduate with an awesome computer engineering career. My parents had absolutely no concept of college level careers & it sure would have been nice.