Please help me, any advice or assistance will be appreciated.

I am really struggling with self-discipline. I set three alarms in the morning, turn them all off when they ring and just continue sleeping. I want to wake up, go exercise and continue my day according to my schedule - I need to. I managed to get it right for about a month when my ex and I first started talking but before that, and not long after it, I just couldn't get out of bed anymore. It's the same with work, I want to practice programming and drawing and web-design and 3d modelling because my skills really are not up to par but I just don't; I just end up gaming or sitting in front of the TV.

I've download tons of exercise and habit-making apps and set hundreds of alarms. But when the time comes I just don't have the passion or energy to do the stuff that I really have to and want to do.

Everything feels like a chore. Even reading a book feels like a chore and like there's no reason for it. I love art and I am passionate about my work but when it comes to just doing it all the passion just fizzles. Sometimes I have just enough energy and I start a task but then I don't get it right as I should or I struggle with it - what little passion and drive I have wanes almost immediately. Then I end up dropping the task altogether.

I know practice makes perfect; I know the only way to get better is to push through and do it. But when I just push through it exhausts me and in most cases, my skill level doesn't improve because I'm not actively learning I'm just numb and numbly pushing through to get to where I am better at doing the task - but I never get there because I'm numbly doing the task. And that altogether makes what little motivation I have die even more.

I have a ton of work to do to achieve what I want in my life. I am passionate about achieving it but when push comes to shove there's just not enough passion to keep me going. And I'm running out of ideas to coax myself to work and learn in an active and engaged way.

For a while, my ex would call me and make me wake up but then I started lying to him, telling him that I got up when I didn't really.

I don't know how to motivate myself to do **** anymore. And I really have to get motivated because I am FAR behind in terms of where I should and want to be in life. It causes me tons of anxiety but the anxiety doesn't push me to stick to my schedule it just makes me want to give up and feel hopeless.

I bought a bunch of courses online for me to improve my skills and I am genuinely excited about doing them. I love the idea of doing them and building my skills, but when I sit down to do them it's like there's zero motivation and I don't know what to do anymore.

I occasionally get little spurts of motivation where I manage to workout correctly and stick to my diet and work and study - basically stick to my schedule - for two to three days. But then it just vanishes and months go by where I do nothing.

If you were to ask me "but what did you do, in this time?" I wouldn't be able to tell you, because I can't remember doing anything. I'd assume I'd play games but I haven't really got that many hours on my games and I haven't achieved any new achievements in the games I play - so I haven't spent that much time gaming if I have now results to show it. As far as I can tell I literally just sit around and do absolutely nothing. I have nothing to show for the past two years of my life and I compulsively, periodically delete any work that I think isn't good enough - so for the past six years of my life I have almost nothing to show. Most of the projects I did at varsity are deleted and most of the projects I started at home but never finished got deleted too. My skills level is about the same and I am getting older and older with nothing to show.

I want to study, I want to be good at my job, I want to exercise and feel good about myself - so why is it so incredibly hard to just do it? It wasn't always like this - as a child I had tons of motivation and I was constantly improving. I don't know what to do anymore.