I'm in a very similar place. I really enjoy programming and Computer Science and picked it up as a teenager, but in the last three years, I barely progressed. I'm just too damn afraid of being bad at it or not being as good/motivated as others, so I just let it slide. Everything I start goes to ****, and despite all efforts and tears, nothing has improved.

I can't really give you advice, because I myself need to figure this out. All I can say is: There are similar people out there like you, going through the same things. Never give up, it's never too late, I'm sure.