Hello. Welcome to PC. I don’t know what the answer is but I sympathize. I have an 18 year old daughter who is a freshman in a college two hours away. It seems like since middle school, I have been affected by how she’s feeling/doing. When she’s happy, I feel lighter. When she’s having a tough time or is in pain, it’s excruciating for me. I have slowly started putting up boundaries but it is slow going and very difficult. I am working on this in therapy.