Wishing you the very best. As others have said, here and on other threads, this can happen to anyone.

I just thought I'd mention, in case you're in any doubt, many people on the forum are probably here because of fathers like him.

My mother was a very loving and wonderful person, but for one reason or another, wasn't able to leave my father. There was always some very good reason... or he'd be nice to her for a while.

Like you, she underestimated the misery of being a child in that environment. In some ways, that decision ruined my life.

I'm not trying to make you feel guilt or panic on top of everything else. I'm with you, and really want the best outcome for you.

But don't fool yourself into thinking he's a good father. He's not. He's a deeply selfish man.

You don't want to be having the conversation I had with my mother years later...

"But WHY didn't you leave him?"