Sounds to me like you're doing a good job of being able to discriminate some possible things about him that are not-so-good.

That's a good skill to have and develop -- one that I did not have early on, one that had been "scrapped" and stomped on early in my life because that resulted in observations that others in my life didn't like -- and "rejected" me for having.

If you can "hold your own", perhaps knowing that there are others here you will support you even if your potential observations are "wrong" or incomplete. Seems like that could be an interesting way out of a vulnerable feeling?