You are taking all the right steps to protect yourself and prepare for leaving him. And I am glad to hear you say that you are done!

The fact of the matter is, this IS abuse. There is no way around it. The invasion of privacy, the disrespect, treating you like a child and not an equal, the jealousy, the accusations, the interrogation, the extreme mistrust and the controlling behaviors are all a part of abuse. Abuse is NOT love, which is important to understand and realize. Abuse is ALWAYS about control and power over another. ALWAYS. It is rooted in deeply held insecurities in the abuser. He may love you in his own warped, twisted way, but he wants power and control over you, ultimately.

As someone had said, abuse is also cyclical in nature -- they will try to win you over after a period of abuse, with flowers, apologies and EVEN admission of wrongdoing. It is all a manipulative ACT to get you to trust them again and not leave them. Same with the wonderful honeymoon period... that was all an act to cover up who he truly is inside... an abuser.

Abusive people do not have two sides to them. Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde are one and the same person.

I, too, have been through abusive relationships and just got out of one, in fact.

So if you suspect this to be true & have taken tests even, know that your instincts are right... you are right.

Now, abusers RARELY change, and that is a statistical fact. Yes, they may agree to therapy, but they will put on an act to seem as though they are willing to change. So what you suspect is that this will keep happening, even though he is giving you what you want and need right now.

It takes A LOT of personal therapy for the abuser to actually change themselves. They actually have to admit to their abusive nature, which goes against their very core of who they are. They may ACT like they are apologetic, but really, deep down, they are not.

If you want to PM me for anything, I'm available. I know a lot about the topic, I've read a ton about abuse, and have been healing from abuse lately myself. (((((((((((HUGS))))))))