Really really really really REALLY do not want to go to the hospital, especially knowing they'll admit me and it wont be voluntary. Chances are Ill wake up fine tomorrow anyways, but tonight has been really rough. There are so many things I want to do to myself and I'm trying not to and I'm fighting with everybody and I don't know what's wrong with me. My mom said I'm acting like a 2 year old and my head keeps going "I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die...." and it wont stop. I hate myself. I hate everything. I just want it to stop.