Quote:
Originally Posted by golden_eve
I have a question for anyone here:
So I am online again doing online dating, just for casual fun and meetups, and NOT for a serious relationship right now.
I am talking to a guy and he wants to meet up this week. I don't want to divulge ANYTHING about having been abused in my last relationship. In fact, I don't even want to talk about my relationships, but IF he asks, I'm going to have to mention something... like I recently got out of a relationship.
Thing is, I have a happiness blog, and I just posted two entries all about emotional abuse. I like sharing my blog with new people, it's a good conversation piece, so It's something I would probably mention on a date, but I DON'T want to divulge that I was recently abused.... of course, that's going to make someone probably run in the other direction.
So how do I approach it? Share my blog and if they happen to read it, just tell them that yes, I've been through some abusive relationships in the past and know a bit about the topic?
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Generally speaking it’s better to wait few dates before sharing details.
So I’d advice to avoid talking about past relationships on the first date. People need to know if one has children and was legally married and is divorced or widowed but if you are single it’s fair to assume you had relationships, how and what and when no need to share details on the first date. It’s usually red flag (not over past boyfriends/girlfriends). Better to wait till maybe third date.
Saying all that, there are exceptions. My husband told me on the first date that he had a bad marriage and was abused and other details (all were true). It’s was a bit shocking he shared it but he just felt comfortable and it was ina context of a topic. But generally speaking it’s better to wait few dates
My therapist says that it’s good to be honest but no need to be “open book” all the time especially with people you don’t know
If he asks, you tell him you had several serious relationships in life. That’s all he need to know on The first date