Two nights ago, my sister and I argued over text message about all the extra driving involved, of checking up on our mother who is now having dementia while we wait for her elderly waiver to be processed and a spot to open up in an assisted living facility. I don't know why I agreed to help out, considering my scapegoat role (codependence, maybe?), and the emotional abuse my mother's doled out on me for my entire life. Guilt maybe. Anyways, I told my sister that with my part-time evening retail job on top of my day job, I can't afford the gas it costs to do all the extra driving, and for now, can just call our mother to remind her to take her meds. My sister employed the silent treatment (she is an expert at it). Very immature response.

So, two nights ago, I dreamt that my sister tried to kill me. In my dream, we were sitting on a square, floating dock in the middle of the ocean, with our cousin (who my sister treats like a sister, whereas she treats me like her staff for hire), and our brother (whom I'm estranged from, but who is close with my sister). We were all sitting on plastic lawn chairs. And there was a wooden staircase that led from the top of the floating dock to the ocean. I was standing on the stairs, tossing fish to a group of dolphins when a large Pelagia whale black in color, came rushing up to the surface while feeding on plankton. So, as a result, the dock swayed, I lost my balance and as I went to grab the railing to steady myself, I leaned forward and felt my sister's foot on my lower back push me into the Pelagia whale's open mouth. I fell inside the whale face first, and I could hear my sister, brother, and cousin cheering and laughing about it, then I couldn't breathe in my dream and I woke up, gasping for air.

Obviously, I must have been processing the argument my sister and I had over text about taking turns driving over to our mother's to check on her to make sure she takes her meds, eats food, etc. but when I told my sister my checking account was negative, and that I didn't have the money to add gas for all of the extra driving outside of my day and night job, to drive to our mother's place, instead of just responding, she gave me the silent treatment to try to control me or be domineering, I think. Hence, why she kicked me into the Black whale's mouth in my dream. It was a very distressing dream. Whales are supposed to symbolize the spiritual self. I'm very angry with my sister. She is being childish and I'm fed up.