Dear AlisaLight;
Please know that you are not wasting your time here. You have received some very wise advice here, on this thread.
People took time out of their day to provide you efficient feedback. Please appreciate that.
Please allow me to ask how old are you?
Why do you say this is true love? What makes you think that you love him? Why do you love him so much? All I’m reading from your posts are complaints. I am not able to see the positive aspects he brings to your life. Can you please elaborate?
One more item to note: when you say that you “desperately need help” make sure that you are ready to accept help. Help doesn’t always come in the form and shape you want.