Hi Copingmeadow, I like your idea of a funeral. I met a widow and he was grieving for his wife with no anger that she was gone, just simple sadness. I thought, that is how I want to grieve, to try and live at the same time I am sad, to allow myself to be sad for as long and as much as I want to, and to honor the twenty seven years I had with my ex, as well as learn from them. The point was that my ex and I have ended, he is out of love with me and he left me. I have had to not only try and stop talking to him, I've also had to begin to leave him, to allow myself to act as mean as he does sometimes. Tonight I said he couldn't come and see what I was getting rid of in the house we used to share. I still love him but the us is dead, he is a stranger who doesn't get to go through my garbage and shouldn't ask. I am going to playact about how I would act with a stranger in different situations some more. I will grieve with friends for what my ex and I used to have.