What would he do if you put your foot down & said I'm moving back to my state with or without you? Would he finally be forced to compromise IF HE TRULY LOVES YOU & doesn't sant to lose you.

He knows right now your total inaction is getting him exactly what HE WANTS & is refusing to care about you. That is NOT YOUR PARENTS FAULT that is thinking he has put into his own mind about not being able to stay away from them in your state.

Honestly if you chose to have a family, I will feel sorry for your kids. A mother who hates where she is doesn't make for any good family life. Kids wondering why dad never comes to visit grandparents & honestly will not be able to hide his feelings from the kids. They are smart & aware.

You need to look at the big picture. What will be the consequences of all these choices & behaviors in the long run? Will it really be the happy marriage & family life you REALLY WANT. Sonetimes we can love someone but in reality they arent compatible with our needs. A marriage will fail if only one side is the willing one to compromise. Bad feelings will grow over time. IF he really loves you he would see just how miserable you are in this place & would let go of his SELFISH PRIDE & compromise BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU.