Don't lose sight of the idea that there are "middle" grounds, shades of gray, and throw the baby out with the bath water. The relationship might not be as sick as you feel it is at the moment? You have a lot of "numbing" and "running" and other extreme words but there is "aching" and "walking away" and "looking back" too. Whether we choose the "all" or the "nothing", neither one of those will fix things? We can stand with our pain, in the doorway :-) in case we feel like running, that's okay.