(((((((((((Colleen)))))))))))

I hope you don't mean what you said about your abuser... it breaks my heart to imagine how much pain you are feeling right now to even say that.

Do you know how great of a person you are? You don't deserve any of this... you don't even deserve any resemblance to all of this. What happened to you... its not a reflection of the type of person you are. Something was taken from YOU, and you didn't have any choice in it. And it doesn't make you a failure, or useless, or any other nonsense like that.

Don't give in to the SI... its not going to help you. Prove that you are better than it. Prove to yourself that you are a beautiful strong woman who is capable of anything she puts her heart into. But also realise, that if something should happen... it doesn't discount any of those things. To me, you are all those things and more.

Try and focus on your accomplishments! Look at what you can do when you put your mind into something. For example, your weight? That takes A LOT of willpower my friend, and I'm so proud of you for it. And I'm going to continue to be proud of you no matter what.

You can get through this. Go for your walks, or bike rides, or put in a good movie, drink your coffee (although, watch that in-take) do *something* to get your mind off of all these things.


me