Dragonphoto..... struggling with wanting to know our destiny or turn our dreams into destiny is our classic struggle as humans. You're not alone in your impatience, your heartbreak and your fear. You're not alone in wanting to know what the future hold for you and the one you love. You're not alone in having to wait on another to know their own mind, thoughts, desires, will.....

You have had to put your love for your wife in a quiet place for what feels like an eternity to you dragonphoto. It is your primary pre-occupation. You want to let it out and celebrate it and share it with the world. But you know you can't. You've been asked by your wife to keep it in check and give it more time. Time. What do you do with the time? How do you cope waiting and wondering and hoping and praying? How do you retain your faith and hope without loosing your mind in the process? What do you do with all these loving feelings that you can't express?

You want to do something in a time when you are asked to do nothing. How frustrating and crazy making is that my friend. It doesn't get harder than that. It just doesn't get harder than the pain and frustration of holding your heart's desires in check.

But you've been doing just that dragonphoto. You've been honouring the boundaries your wife put in place for a time. She hasn't divorced you so she is still investing time into your relationship. You are honouring her needs for space and time and understanding. She is determining the pace of your reunion. She is determining how much she can trust you or how much love she can give back to you at any point in time. She is the only one who can determine when she is ready. When she feels her family is ready. She is a mother first if she is anything like most women and she is careful to contaminate their world again without some certainty it will be good for them. Not another roller coaster ride but a good environment for her children. The same things you want. A safe, stable and loving home for your children. If in your wife's eyes you still represent a threat to her children's (your children's) environment she is going to continue to be cautious. You need to respect that even if it means waiting longer than you seem able to wait.

You can do whatever you put your mind to dragonphoto. You need to have your priorities straight first so that you focus your mind on what is most important.

In your case your children are what is most important. Supporting your wife to provide the best home for your children. No one will deny that having you in that home, safe and healthy and contributing as head of household is everyone's dream. To make that dream come true you have to be ready to do your part. Are you ready dragonphoto? Does your wife think you are ready? What will determine your readiness? What do you have to do to prove to yourself and your wife that you are ready. What do you need to do to be ready. This is where you need to focus your energies.

Work on your recovery, become healthy enough to rejoin your family and in time they will see it and begin to trust it and gradually make more room for you.

They love you dragonphoto of that there is no doubt. You know they love you and want you well. Getting well is your priority. Getting well enough to be the man you want to be, the father you want to be and the husband you want to be.

Set your prayers into the universe everyday and work towards becoming well enough again to live out your destiny. Live out your dream.

I happen to think they are often one and the same thing. We dream our destiny. We pray them into reality. One humble and generous and self-actualized step at a time.

Patience dear friend..... patience, a daily commitment and plan for recovery. It takes time to recover our health and our lives before the illness took over. It will take time dragonphoto. Just a little more time.

You just came out of the holiday season and your patience is running thin. I can appreciate that. Wish there was more I could do than appreciate how you must be feelings. I wish I could carry some of the burden for you. Just long enough for you to regain your determination. Just long enough for you to remember how far you've come. Just long enough for you to regain your hope and your faith that things will work out for you and your family.

Hope I haven't overspoken..... if I don't make any sense than ignore me. I'm praying for your peace dragonphoto. Peace be with you.