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Originally Posted by SalingerEsme
This seems like a super-defensive moment from your T, and not very professional: . I think that T's read so much into the frame of therapy- like if we are late or early, how we pay, if they run over time, that they get freaked when they themselves make an unforced error. Could there have been an emergency like a suicide threat etc that got her flustered? Could she be tuned in enough to really have wanted to see you at 1pm more than she needed to see the other client? The urge to pay it back by missing a session too is natural. I have been feeling that impulse myself bc my T is taking family vacation so much during the holidays, after getting me to engage in a very hard topic. I have to battle with myself not to "act out" , and show him that I feel abandoned by abandoning him first, because it really only hurts myself. I doubt if he cares that much , and also the whole "use your words" thing is one of the big things therapy tries to teach us to do to help all of our relationships and our own assertiveness. So I don't think you should skip, but I do think you should tell your T that she took advantage of you wanting to please her by not seeing you as she committed. The main thing is you really need her right now, and some kind of attunment should tell her that. The "only human" line they all use is so offensive- as if what we think you are a god lol? Or as if their jobs are SO MUCH harder than anyone else, that daily they perform at superhuman levels? I do hope your T has a quiet moment and thinks of you and what you need.
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So sorry about your T being away. Feeling abandoned is horrible. I have the same issue of abandonment. I think certain topics shouldn’t be raised especially if your t is going away because then you’re dealing with it on your own. Certain Ts want you to figure things out on your own but with difficult topics like these they can’t just touch upon the issue and then not be able to help or provide support along the way.
It’s natural for people like us to think they don’t care. Sadly some Ts care more than others but I’m hoping that yours is a caring one. I would definitely bring that to your Ts attention when he comes back. Im guessing there’s no other forms of communication. Again every T is different but o would bring that to his attention. That’s just bad timing!!!!
You’ve picked up well on my issue. I do feel like I saved her issues with other clients by not letting her cancel with her other client. It was really all my loss. I was the only one affected. She went home to her family and the rest of her clients saw her for their Scheduled time. I’ll give up my seat for others but then I suffer the consequences later. i tried to seem tough about it and told her that I’m okay and her other clients need her more. The fact that I did what i did and said what I said will absolutely go over her head.