I used to do that (rsvp and not show up) a LONG time ago with some meet up groups. I had bad social anxiety, and while I wanted to go, it was too hard at that time. I don't do that anymore. If I have a feeling I won't be able to make it, or won't show up, I won't rsvp at all, and then day of I will consider just showing up (as long as its not something like with tickets or a certain number of people are allowed to rsvp). I was an organizer for a group once, and I remember the membership plans were basic (50 or less), and then unlimited which was any number, and this group has over 700.

I just thought it was a little strange, her email to me, because there's over 700 people. She told me she's not the type of organizer to keep people in her group if they never go. So I guess that's the kind of organizer she is. I was a bit put off by her defensive response to me. She was like "Why would I single you out? I don't even know you." But I decided to be open and kind anyway, and it turned out fine.

I feel like I myself had a very emotional reaction to this for some reason. Which was why I explained to her I felt singled out and wanted to check out why she sent me the email. But she seemed to take this as an attack on her. I used an I statement. "I felt singled out when you sent me that email. Are you reducing the number of members in your group for some reason?" But you can't see facial expression in an email or tone of voice.

I'm pretty much over this and ready to start my day now. Thanks for the support and perspectives.