Quote:
Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006
idk what it is with the men you've experienced but misinterpreting cues is one thing if there was no verbal statement otherwise but with the fact that you have made it clear he has no excuse. And it's not Men, it's MEN WITHOUT BRAINS clearly. A decent male friend would understand and respect your boundary, period and trust me, there are actually men that aren't so inept with women.
if he's a good friend you will be able to have a conversation with him about what flirtation he is referring to and clarify this behavior with him as not flirting or coming onto him. I fear that he's kind of thick in the head though as it sounds like you've already had to make it clear to him multiple times and it's not getting through.
To be honest he sounds like he's a lion lying in wait... "maybe if I stick around she'll change her mind" kind of thing and based on this delusion his interpretations of your friendliness are exaggerated by his false hopes. since his base is that he expects and hopes for you to change your mind about him, he's reading into things through that filter.
need to decide if this friendship is worth it if he doesn't give up on anything more than friendship
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YES!!!!! I agree -- I think he IS a lion waiting in wait.. and is reading into things, interpreting things in the way that he wants to because he hopes I WILL change my mind somehow.
Dammit.
And he tried to buy my drinks last night, but I kept putting my drinks on my own tab, to also make it clear.
He's treated me out for the night previously, and I tried to give him money for it, but he refused it. I TRIED to pay for our drinks then too, but he wouldn't let me.
Maybe THAT gave him the wrong idea. He probably viewed that night out as a date, I bet. Dammit.
Now I am in a pickle because I really want to go to this concert with him on Sunday, but I want to clear the air with him and not have him be angry with me.
Perhaps you're right - that i should ask him how he thinks I have flirted with him. He DOES need to respect my boundaries, I agree.
I apologized on text to him this morning, saying I thought I've been clear and that I am sorry if I misled him in any way. I don't know what else to do except apologize. I also asked if he still wants me to go to the concert.... most likely, I will run into him tonight, too, at a band that we both like to see each week.
What a mess. :/