For a little over a year now my older sister moved my parents to her home. My parents are 93 and my father is turning 91 on the 17th.

My sister has been mean to me and it's gotten to the point where even though I would like to see my parents I can't without her right there HOVERING. I struggle with PTSD and my sister's behaviors can trigger me badly so I avoid engaging because I get triggered so badly.

Last time I called and spoke to my father was on father's day and he asked me "when am I going to see you?". I came so close to telling him the truth but ended up just saying, "Dad, please let me just wish you happy father's day and know that I miss you and I do love you". So, I want to at least call him to wish him happy birthday, would love to see him but I just can't be around my sister. I just don't know what to say to him when he asks me "when will I see you?". The whole Idea is to add to his day be it any holiday, and I honestly wish I could just be honest with him but the feeling I have been encouraged to feel, what comes through in me is "that's making it about me". It's been very hard to WANT to see and visit with my parents yet avoid doing so because of how my sister behaves when I do. Sigh, if I could have a way of posting a video showing how she can be I know other members would KNOW what I mean.

So, can't come up with an answer that I can give that's the truth but doesn't blow up in my face with my sister calling me and lecturing me. My parents can't drive or be independent and basically are trapped with her hovering over them.