I know the feeling of wanting to be happy too. When I accept the now moment instead of looking towards the future, I'm more at peace with myself. I find that being happy is temporary too. I tell myself that I should stop fighting for what I think is right and just accept this moment and enjoy it. Even if everything is crappy, everything is ok and I have the tools to help myself if I find myself upset or depressed. I hope you are doing well with your goals I wish you all the best.